Out from Under
by xxxraquelita
Summary: Everyone thinks Brittany's stupid. It hurt the most when Artie said it, and the only person she knew to talk to was Santana. But not everything ended up the way she thought it would.  Based in Rumours  2.090, pre-Songbird


Despite what most people thought, Brittany wasn't stupid. There were many things she _was_. She was an amazing dancer - the best on at McKinley High other than Mike Chang. She was a super talented singer. No one could beat her when it came to impersonating her namesake. On top of all that she was pretty sure she was spectacular at drawing. But she wasn't stupid.

Because she wasn't stupid, she knew she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. That and the fact that almost everyone in the school had reminded her of it from time to time. Except _they_ thought she was stupid. At least, that's what they said. She thought she would be used to it after a while, but she wasn't. It hurt just as bad _every time._

Even with the people who didn't call her stupid, only one ever called her smart. That was Santana. On the off chance that someone else did, they never really meant it. Santana was the only person who ever said that and actually meant it, believed it. Then again, Santana almost always knew what Brittany meant when her words came out wrong.

That was why it was Santana she went running to find, Artie's words echoing in her head. Those from him stung worse than anyone else's. He had always made her feel smart, even though he never said the words. He didn't laugh at her because she believed in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, or that Uncle Sam had more power than the president and the Tooth Fairy was in cahoots with all the dentists in the world. He'd told her she was magic.

Artie was the sweetest boyfriend Brittany had ever had. Of course, she hadn't had many boyfriends. Mostly she just slept with guys and sex wasn't dating. She was never sure if she should count Kurt as someone she dated, cause he'd been gay the whole time, but they'd made out in his basement and he'd held her hand in the halls at school, so to her it counted.

_God, Brittany, why are you so stupid?_

That was over now. She hadn't meant to make him upset, and she still wasn't completely sure why he was. It wasn't like she'd been sleeping with some other guy, just him. And then Santana. But she was almost always sleeping with Santana so she wasn't sure why that counted.

There hadn't been much time between classes once she found Santana. Just enough to tell her what happened, and get a hug and a bop on the nose with the reassurance that she wasn't stupid. She knew that but it was always nice to hear, especially right after someone had told her the opposite. There was also the promise that she would come over to Brittany's house after school and no, she wouldn't go tear into Artie. Brittany was pretty sure she would have if she hadn't made her promise.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on. Classes felt like they were twice as long and all Brittany could think about was what Artie had said, and then what Santana had said to her. That was why when her math teacher asked her what the quadratic equation was she answered saying a muscle in her leg. And when the rest of the class laughed, all she heard was Artie again.

Walking home had always been one of Brittany's favorite parts of the day. She lived close enough that it was a nice walk, which was good because she couldn't drive and didn't want to take the bus. That day, she just wanted to be home, and the walk felt like it took forever. Once she got there, she went straight up to her room and dropped her bookbag inside the door.

Just as she was taking off her shoes, she heard a door downstairs swing shut. It had to be the side door - it was almost always left unlocked, in case Brittany forgot her key, but mostly for Santana. There was a pause, then the sound of sneakers being kicked off against the wall, followed by quick footsteps padding up the stairs.

"Hey," Brittany said softly, looking up as her bedroom door was pushed open. Santana returned her greeting, knocking the door shut behind her. She crossed the room quickly, her arms sliding around the blonde girl and holding her in much closer than the hug she'd given her at school.

They stayed like that for a moment, just holding each other. This was where Brittany felt the safest and most secure, being in her room with Santana. It was so much different than any time they were in front of anyone else. She knew it was a secret, everything they did, so she knew it had to be like that. It was nice to know there was a place they could have to be themselves. Brittany's room, Santana's room, those were the only places in the world they could be together.

"Com'ere," Santana said as she pulled back from the hug, taking Brittany's hand in hers and tugging her toward the bed. Brittany trailed along with her, sitting down on the edge of the bed and looking up at her. "You," she said, cupping her face in her hands as she looked down at her. "You are smart, and hot, and so amazing, and screw what anyone else says, okay?"

"Okay," Brittany said softly, nodding a little in her hands. It didn't fix things, but it was always nice to hear. And she believed her, of course, but even Santana couldn't take the hurtful words and make them go away. She let the other girl push her back onto the bed, and when she crawled in next to her, Brittany turned on her side to face her, their noses almost touching. "He was mad. Because of us."

"Because of us?" Santana's eyes widened for a brief moment, then narrowed. "What about us?"

"That we were together, when... I was with him," Brittany said, her gaze drifting down away from Santana's. "He said some things about you, but I told him what a good person you are." She looked back up at her, sliding her hand down her arm and linking their fingers together. "Because you are."

"Brittany..."

"And we can be together, now," Brittany interrupted, squeezing her hand. "Like for real. Because before, when you wanted, I couldn't because of Artie. But I'm not with him anymore, so we can." Santana pulled away from her, sitting up. "What?"

"I don't know if I can," Santana said, her voice barely a whisper. Brittany frowned and sat up, moving so she was sitting in front of her. Silently, they sat there, facing each other with their legs crossed, Brittany staring at her and Santana staring at her hands.

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked softly, her brow furrowed slightly as Santana looked up, meeting her eyes.

"I... I don't know, Brit," she said, shaking her head. "I want to, more than anything, but I don't know if I can." Brittany reached over, resting her hands on the other girl's knees.

"You love me, right?" Brittany asked, her thumbs rubbing lightly against the rough fabric of her jeans. At Santana's nod, she smiled a little. "Well I love you, too. That's all that matters, right?"

"I just don't want people to talk," Santana said quietly, her hands resting over top of Brittany's. "The stares, the whispers, I can't. Not right now. Not yet."

"You said before, though," Brittany frowned, trying to figure out what had changed. She had sounded so ready, before, there in the hall when she told Brittany that she just wanted to be with her. It was just that there was Artie, and she couldn't, but now she could and she didn't understand why Santana couldn't. "Santana?"

"I know, but I can't." She pushed Brittany's hands off her legs and clambered off the bed.

"Santana, what's wrong?"

"This is happening too fast, I can't," Santana said, shaking her head. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?" She gave Brittany one last fleeting glance before she left, and the blonde girl just sat on her bed, listening to the footsteps thundering down the stairs, a long pause, and then the door slamming shut.

More than anything, Brittany couldn't understand why Santana was acting upset. She had sounded so sure of herself that day she said she wanted to be with her, and Brittany thought she would finally be so happy that they could be. Never in a million years would she have expected for Santana to leave like she did. She'd expected her to stay there for hours, or maybe even all night. Sighing, she fell back onto her bed, reaching up and grabbing one of her teddy bears. Nothing was making sense that day and she was just going to stay there until something did.


End file.
